My life as I know it...
Is just plain weird. I was getting ready for bed last night and just had this image of kids in a classroom and the teacher says:

"Ok, kids, we are going to have an oral pop quiz on humans (an approach to sociology, if you will) and I am going to ask you to please raise your hand and answer questions with either the answer D or normal people, ok?"

-hushed ok's...

"Ok, who wears gloves to bed?"

-silence
-then a small hand goes up

"Ummm, D?"

-snickering

"Yes! Good job! who else would wear gloves to bed?- she once wore a sock on one hand when she couldn't find the other glove"

-laughter

"Ok, who uses neosporin on their cuts?"

-ten hands shoot up

"yes, Ryan (there is a Ryan in the class)"

"Normal people (he says with confidence)"

"Good, good... D wears neosporin all over her face (teacher shaking her head)"

"Next, who wants to cry everytime they step into their bathroom?"

"That's easy! D!"

"Yes, I guess that was easy, kids. D wants to cry pretty much all the time but Especially when she goes into her bathroom and sees what kind of disgustingness her roomate (female) has left in there for her, be it hair everywhere or toothpaste and phlegm in the sink"

"Ok, who has enough gas in their ass to be able to propel a car forward without using the accelerator?"

"DADDY!" coming from all the kids (one screams "mom")

"ok, ok TRUE. But normal people don't have as much gas as D does EVERYDAY"

"Who poops so much they have to wear diapers?"

"Babies!" (the kids are really into this)

"Yes, which is normal... But, D wishes she had diapers sometimes."

"Who has to put some kind of lubricant in their noses before sleeping so that they don't wake up with their nostrils stuck together?"

"D!!!!!!" (uproariously)

"Good Job, everybody!"

"Ms. Smith? (normal name)"

"Yes, Lucy?"

" I feel sorry for D."

Awwwww...?

"No, children, please don't feel sorry for D. D is content most of the time. She is ok, she is somewhat healthy (which way- we don't know) and she's got great support from her family and friends. So being like D isn't so bad. Unless you count the green skin between her pinky and ring toe (is their a ring toe?)"