My Mornings...

Don't make any sense. It takes me forever to get out of the house. I wake up at 7:45 and usually leave by 9:30- what the hell am I doing? My hair and makeup take about 10 minutes total- and then the rest is fartin' around trying to wake up.

I was a terrible Christian this morning- I feel allergies coming on and am already getting sinus headaches-fun. So, I did have some sort of excuse- oh yeah, and I wore too much eyeliner- so I look like a hooker today. I hate that.

Sooooo, I get on the crowded bus and was being stared at by this woman in a veil and she was holding a baby- so cute, but I was grumpy- so, I rolled my eyes at her (for staring). Unfortunately, she did something nice and I felt like an ass. She took one of my bags (I am a bag lady) and put it under her seat so that I may be comfortable standing. Damn her. I thanked her, then proceeded to frown and close my eyes pretending to be in pain so that the whole rolling the eyes thing had to do with the pain I was enduring and not the fact that I am a bitch. But she just kept watching me (maybe she thought I was a hooker with all of that eye makeup) and when I was finally able to retrieve my bag- I ended up standing right next to her- do you know how hard it is to have someone watch you for 10 minutes and pretend that you are enjoying the scenery in Queens? I do not know why people insist on watching me- God, do I always sound this narcissistic?

So after enduring the GREAT STARE- I get into work (10:45) and am told by the housekeeper that the old man needs me to call him- SHIT! but it's cool cuz she gave me an excuse on why I was in so late (love her at this point) So I call Mr. grumpy pants (he was so great yesterday- he misses his gf- don't take it out on me, man!) and he's all "getting a late start this morning, huh?" and I'm all "oh no, I had to pick up a broom and dustpan for the housekeeper as per J's (gf) request" (as per???) and he's ok with that (he loves her, so if I had said she wanted me to have an ice cream cone then smear some of it on the kitchen counter- he would have said "oh, ok") and then he proceeds to tear me a new one about the cordless phones (were working last week-not this week) and his shower is leaking and have I done anything about that??? Well, no because I am tired. Sorry. No, I didn't say that- I said "of course, right away!" and then I hung up. Checked my e-mail. Ate something (HUNGER!!!). Checked this - laughed a bit- then started with the calls- RIGHT AWAY.