• Yeah, neither have I...
  
  Have you ever wondered what goes on in people's heads and if they are as fucked up as you are? Yeah, neither have I- BIG LIE- I wonder if my friends are friends with me because I am loud. Or funny? Or outrageous (O.J doesn't think so- ok- but I'm not the nerd from Maryland, am I?)? Or just a genuinely open loud funny (extremely attractive- oh, wait these are girls I'm talking to - never mind) caring person? LOL- ok, ok, even I couldn't swallow that bullshit. But I do wonder if other people have similar thoughts, experiences, etc...as I do.
  
  Have you ever:
  
• ignored the family with small children (4 or 5) and proceeded to sleep and not giving up your seat on the train?
• wanted to pay someone to do a makeover on them?
• "accidentally" hit another passenger with your white backpack on the train because they bumped you and didn't apologize?
• wanted to put a pillow over your roommate's face while they were asleep because you thought that that would be easier than asking them to leave?
• used your roommate's toothbrush to clean the sink because you walked into the bathroom and had your shower gel all over the floor because the bottle fell (because of the roommate) and broke and your roommate didn't bother to clean it up?
• told your boss that you were at a doctor's appointment when you were actually working for someone else on the side?
• pretended not to hear your boss because of connection/area/whatever to get out of speaking with them?
• turned off your phone to pretend there was no "reception"? (because you were shopping and didn't want to be disturbed?)
• punched your best friend in the face to see if it sounded like it does in the movies?
• tried to get someone off your best friend by throwing a rock at them and ended up hitting your best friend in the head instead?
• lifted your best friend's catholic school skirt on a busy street just for shits and giggles?
• been able to smell your roommate's room from your own?
• been told when you were younger not to hold your little cousin and then do so and when you heard someone approaching threw her (literally) back into her playpen?
• get all excited because aforementioned cousin had sock lint stuck between her toes and fingers?- so fun to pick!
• been tattled on by that kid, blamed for things the kid did and not even be in the same BOROUGH??!!
• seen all of your bosses naked?
• cried to get out of certain situations?
• pretended to not speak english to not have to talk to someone else?

Yeah, neither have I.