LOVE/HATE HER...

It's The Brain's Birthday today. I love so many things about her. There are few things that I hate but I just wanted to list them for people to get a better idea of who she is. I know y'all are not reading her blog so I thought this would help. This is for Her- as a cheap little birthday gift, because I am POOR.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE
I love that I can finally speak to her now that she's my age

I love that she has stuck this relationship out for so long (21 years!!!)

I love that she still spoke to me after I punched her in the face, threw a (semi-big) rock at her head, peed on her, lifted her skirt up in the middle of Manhattan, I pulled her tube top down in the middle of a bar (thanks for the reminder Bucker), I shaved her head (coming soon!)

I love that she thinks she's funny (she's funny once a month at best)

I love that she feels the need to add AHAHAHAHAHAH to remind readers of her blog to LAUGH at what she had written

I love that she feels the need to take an exit (street, avenue, blvd, whatever) that starts with the letter C

I love that she gets lost pretty much EVERYTIME she goes somewhere (even when she's driven there before)

I love that she does that with DIRECTIONS!

I love that she asks me "who are you?" whenever I tell her something outrageous

I love that she calls me a "lying sack of shit" pretty much everyday

I love that she threatens my life all the time and that I threaten to beat her to the point of unconsciousness and then shave her head (I really want to shave her head)

I love that she trusts my comprehension of the Arabic language enough to break into it talking shit about people standing right next to her.

I love that she sings lalalalalalala at the end of every chorus of every song because she's foreign and doesn't know the words

I love that she supports me in mostly everything I do

I love that she is hardly ever on my side- except when I really need her to be (without saying so)

I love that I can count on her for anything

I love that she loves my family as much I love hers

I love that she loves me but refuses to say it

I love that I am one of the luckiest people on Earth to know her

HATE, HATE, HATE
I hate that she won't marry me (My intentions are purely platonic, I swear!)

I hate that she was so mean to me when I first met her

I hate that she has more views than I do- ME-135- SHE- 450!!! why???

I hate that she makes fun of me when I cry

I hate that she just has to say a few words and I'm not crying anymore (I wanted to cry!)

I hate that The Baby calls her momma (and I'm just the cousin that wants to "date" the kid)

I hate that she wears shirts THAT SAY THINGS ON THEM!

I hate her attitude problem

I hate her moods

I hate that I am not with her more often

I hate that she is so close to me, yet so far away

I hate that she thinks I'm drunk when I tell her I love her- I tell her that I love her all the time so I think she thinks I'm drunk at 2 in the afternoon

OK that's all bullshit- the only thing I hate are the shirts and that I can't see her more often. And that's about it. She is the most generous, loving, caring, crazy, nasty, wild, fun (I said fun not funny), luminous, bitchy,intelligent, ambitious, delusional person I have ever met. And I am proud to say that she is my best big friend in the whole wide world. I wish her the best because that's what she deserves.

Happy Birthday Brain. You are the shit (no matter what anyone says)I will follow you into World Domination any day!